GCB Fanfics: The Fanfiction Project

Unofficial - Zelda vs. Lara Pre-Show


"What are you doing?"

The young woman was soon staring down the barrels of two freshly polished and loaded pistols. She simply smiled and repeated her question, "what are you doing?"

"What... who the bloody hell are you?! How dare you spy on me like that!"

The operator behind the lethal arms was none other than the tomb raider, Lara croft. Her breathing was heavy but her arms unwaveringly supported the pair of pistols pointed only a few inches from this strange woman's face. She had assumed that the moonlit forest would provide at least some measure of privacy.

"I, am Zelda. And I can assure you, a princess does not spy."

"I see..." Lara hesitantly lowered the guns and resumed her hunched position on the tree stump were she had been shining, polishing and inspecting her weapons, almost in an obsessive state some might argue, but that was until she was so rudely interrupted by this strange young lady. For royalty, she certainly didn't present the etiquette Lara would have expected.

"Nor is a princess to be ignored."

Apparently her majesty was also quite stupid.

"Look, sweetie," Lara replied in an almost patronizing tone, "why don't you go back to Prince Charming and just leave me the hell alone?"

Lara gave Zelda a pat on the head and returned her focus on the pistols.

"Unfortunately, I do not know of any 'Prince Charming', nor do I have any intention of leaving you until my questions are respectfully answered."

"I really don't have time for this" Lara dismissed the princess without averting her attention away from the pistol maintenance.

Ms. Croft was suddenly lurched upwards by an unseen force that contorted eventually into an haphazard standing position.

She looked at Zelda with white hot fury burning in her eyes.

"Do not touch me," Lara growled through clenched teeth.

Zelda smiled with palms upheld as if in testament to her innocence in the crime she has been accused.

"Now then, my first question; what are those objects you are holding? Are they magical?"

Lara was in no mood to explain the purpose of her weaponry. She preferred a demonstration. In a blur of motion, her guns were up and had fire a single silent shot.

Zelda's tiara fell to the ground as the bullet zinged past the side of her head.

A startled cry escaped the princess which put the smile back on Lara's face.

Zelda soon recovered and picked up her crumpled royal crown. Her expression morphed from surprise, to sadness, followed by rage... and finally, after only a moment passing, she became utterly expressionless. The once cheerful smile that had so often found its home on Zelda's face was gone, to be replaced by a cold and calculating stare that seemed to be complete out of place.

Lara's smile faltered momentarily, but she quickly regained her cool composure and both guns found their comfortable position a few inches from Zelda's face.

Zelda spoke, "I suppose we will all lose something precious in this tournament. Are you prepared, tomb raider?"

Lara cocked her guns.

"Very well." Zelda turned and walked silently back into the forest from which she had appeared from moments ago.

"So... that was the infamous Princess Zelda, Link's little friend. Hardly impressive."

Lara dropped her guns and screamed. Molten metal lay in a pool on the forest floor. Clutching her singed hands, Lara glared into the darkness of the forest.

"B****."




Today's Author: GotMiltank
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