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Tryout Fic #13: Aeon Azuran - Wario vs. Shadow AftermathShadow casually strolled down one of many intertwining paths, which together formed the village that had sprung up around the stadium nearly two months ago. Although his final destination was truly one of critical importance, the dark hedgehog had never been one to flaunt his powers publicly. Unlike Sonic, who had been dashing about madly every day since the tournament began, Shadow preferred to mask his true power from possible opponents. Therefore, he decided against using the power of the Chaos emerald in his possession to warp to this crucial place instantaneously, and even refused to so much as jog, let alone reveal the awesome extent of his speed. Ambling past Tom Nook's shop, his mind wandered back to his match yesterday against that bulbous oaf, Wario. Clearly, an opponent not even worth my time. Despite his tricks and dirty tactics, including the theft of my emerald, that fool was hardly a match for the ultimate life-form. And yet, in the end I was forced to use Chaos Control to achieve victory. Certainly, the more observant have become aware of my power by now...I must take care not to be so careless in the future. Lost in his inner monologue, Shadow completely failed to notice the angry cries emanating from inside Nook's. "What?! Stolen-a goods compensation fee? You just-a made that up, you rotten racoon!" "Now now, Mr. Wario, I'm afraid all precautions must be taken to protect the store. It's true that all of the items were...eventually recovered. However, according to Article 76-Q of Nookington's Financial Policy, I'm afraid the total damages, including but not limited to willful destruction of store property, infliction of mental distress upon its owner, and numerous violations of the anti-mustache clause, amount to several million bells." "But I'm-a broke. You can't-a force me to pay this!" "I realize your financial predicament, Mr. Wario. Therefore the tournament officials have specially arranged for you to become an official Nookington employee until your debt is repaid! You should be thankful for such a fine opportunity, both to amend your past mistakes and prove yourself in the world of business." "But..." "Oh, and try to work on that grouchy attitude. Remember the first rule of any successful enterprise; always greet the customer with a smile!" "NOOOOO! I'm-a gonna be stuck in this-a lousy hellhole for the rest of my life!" ---- Shadow's constitutional led him gradually closer to his momentously essential point of arrival. He reflected on his future matchups in the tournament; next round would be against Mario, a heavyweight contender to say the least. All the more reason to gather the Emeralds as soon as possible. One, of course, I hold, and two others are easily within my grasp. However, the whereabouts of the remaining four must be quickly located; only then will I be able to expand my power. Surely they have fallen within this dimension, but tracking down there precise locations may prove to be quite difficult... He was jolted from his thoughts as he looked at the building ahead of him. This place was without a doubt, the destination of his arduous pilgrimage, the imperative scene of destiny-altering events throughout the world, nay, the very fabric of creation. Gazing up at the bold, bright letters which adorned the front, one could hardly keep from fainting in awe at the awesomeness of this awesome sight; Ling's Beauty Salon: All Contestants get a FREE Shampoo! Sure, Chaos Control was all well and good, but sometimes Dandruff Control had to take precedence. Plus, he hadn't given his quills a good scrubbing in weeks, and he thought he heard that idiot Sonic complain about the smell once or twice...though not to his face, of course. In any case, Shadow had his Quasi-Villain Hedgehog Badass image to maintain, and he wasn't going to do it much longer with poor personal hygiene. Upon entering the salon, he saw that the place was packed with spectators who had come down to watch the matches, and he even recognized a few of his competitors. Yuna was sprawled out luxuriously on one side of the room, getting her Passion Red manicure. Duke Nukem was slouching in the corner getting his rigid, commando style hairdo trimmed, while leering at an old copy of Jugs & Ammo. One sight, however, forced even the stoic hedgehog to suppress a rare smile. A very attractive woman in her mid-twenties stood over an unidentifiable, unspeakably hideous object. Upon closer examination, the object was the legendary Solid Snake, sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, his famous Mullet reduced to multitudes of pink pigtails and braids. Shadow wasn't the only one amused by this; the spectacle drew hushed laughter from everyone around...only Snake himself seemed to be oblivious to what was going on. "Mei Ling, are you sure these enhancements you're placing in my hair will improve my stealth abilities?" "Of course, Snake!," she replied in her usual, sexy Asian accent. "Remember the Chinese proverb: 'Better to do a good deed near to home than go far away to burn insence.' "Look, I'm sick of your proverbs! I neither know nor care what that means, and even if I did, it probably wouldn't apply to this situation at all." "But Snake, what about the saying that goes: 'Only the fool will sit down to eat cabbage with the three toed sloth. Those who are smarter will play ping pong with gorillas eating bagel bites." "Now you're just making them up! And I'd really like to know why everyone here seems to be laughing at me...," at this moment, Snake got an unfortunate first look at himself in the mirror on the far side of the room. "Oh my god, what have you done to my beautiful hair?!" At this point several people in the room could no longer contain themselves, and were cackling loudly at Snake's plight. After his initial shock, Snake was a good enough sport to chuckle a bit himself. "Well, I'll admit it does make for a nice change of pace. Unfortunately, if I keep this look for my first match, I might scare Raiden to forfeit before he even puts up a fight!" With that, he rapidly molded his hair back into its original shape, took a long drag on his cigarette and headed out of the room, ignoring Mei's echoing cries of, "but Snaaaaake, you looked soooo cute!" And suddenly, Shadow noticed something far more interesting than any of the events that had taken place thus far. Something attached to Mei Ling's belt, something that shimmered brightly... "Excuse me, miss? May I ask where you got that emerald?," Shadow inquired, barely able to contain his anticipation. "Oh, this worthless thing? I found it on the soliton radar when I first got here. But I don't really need it for anything, if you want it I could sell it to...," before she had finished her sentence, Shadow had lunched forward, grabbed the Chaos Emerald, and teleported away and out of the salon, leaving a bewildered Mei in his wake. That was far easier than expected. Only three more emeralds have yet to be discovered, and in time they will appear as well. Screw hygiene! Soon, ultimate power will be mine to control... Back inside the salon, Duke Nukem had slowly sidled up next to Yuna, undoubtedly in preparation for one of his legendary flirtation attempts. Come on Dukey, I know you've still got it. It's time to get me some ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta gum... "Hey baby," Duke cried out, flexing his muscles in what he hoped was an irresistibly provocative manner, "that's a fine set of Cuticles you've got there. What do you say we go back to my place and give them a closer inspection....MMMMPPHHH? MMMPH!" Yuna simply smiled. "Standard silence spell," she chimed. "Don't worry though, it'll wear off in a day or so!" "MMMMMPPPPPHHH!!!" Next Entry Back |