GCB Fanfics: The Fanfiction Project

July 17th, 2003


Preshow

Mario and Luigi were devouring their traditional pregame pasta. Actually, it was hard to tell if this particular consumption of pasta was a tradition or not, since the two plumbers seemed to do nothing but eat.

"Aren't you just a little bit worried about the next-a match?" asked Luigi between mouthfuls of the rapidly diminishing spaghetti before him.

"Of-a course not, little brother!" Mario replied while simultaneously stuffing his face, a task only a legend such as himself could accomplish. "He's-a so small, I only have to worry about-a stepping on him...that's-a one spicy meatball!" he exclaimed, belching and vigorously wiping his moustache.

Luigi had taken a short respite from his meal, and was looking unusually troubled. "Hey-a big brother, I've been thinking, maybe we should-a stop propagating a negative Italian American-a stereoty...MAMA MIA!"

His words were cut short as he saw a big, ugly, dark shadow come through the door, shortly followed by its big, ugly, green owner.

"BWAHAHAHAHA! Enjoying your last meal, plumber?"

Mario feigned ignorance of the koopa king's presence. "Is it just-a me brother, or did this room get a lot-a dumber?"

"MWAHAHAHAHA! GPHAW! Still confident about your first round match? You couldn't even beat some elf in tights last year!!" retorted Bowser.

Luigi rushed to his brother's defense. "Mario is-a gonna kick Olimar's fazool into next-a week!"

"Don't be too sure about that, greeny! You've got something to deal with this year that you didn't before: ME! I've left the good Captain with a little surprise for your mustached friend. Let's just say this match is sure to be...EXPLOSIVE! GUAHAHAHOHOHO! I crack myself up!"

With that, Bowser guffawed loudly, turned, and waddled out, muttering that good humor was lost on such morons. Luigi simply sat there dumbstruck, trying to figure out what the oversized lizard had meant with his cryptic remark. Mario, on the other hand, had wasted no time in starting the sixth course of his meal.

"Mario! Didn't you hear what-a Bowser said? I'm-a worried!"

"Who cares? I've stopped everything that-a big lug has tried before. Besides," he continued, revealing a spare set of suspenders that were folded around vast arrangement of stars, fire flowers, and mushrooms, "I can always just-a cheat!"



The Battle

The stands were packed to capacity again with a crowd eagerly awaiting one of the tournament's biggest stars. Cloud Strife, Link, Samus Aran, and Sonic the Hedgehog hadn't disappointed, and now it was Mario's turn to prove he belonged.

The plumber burst through the door to the arena with a shout of "It's-a me, Mario!" The crowd responded with a deafening cheer, peppered by the occasional boo. Luigi and Yoshi were on their feet immediately for their pal, while Link and Cloud offered grudging applause out of respect for a dangerous rival. Bowser grabbed an unsuspecting spectator and flung him inexpertly in the plumber's direction.

"Begin!" signaled the start of the match as Bowser's unwitting ammo dashed back to the stands. Mario looked around, confused.

"Where's-a Olimar?" he wondered. His opponent wasn't a no-show, was he? In the stands, Luigi and Yoshi were trying to yell something at him, but he couldn't hear over the noise of the fans. Mario stared at the two quizzically, prompting them to try a different approach. Luigi pointed downwards, and Yoshi held his fingers up for Mario to see, about an inch apart. Seeing this gave Boswer what he considered an ingenious idea. He tried his best to look sincere as he pointed upward. Unsurprisingly, Mario was not fooled.

Captain Olimar was not a big man, as Duke Nukem was fond of reminding him. He was not an average man. In fact, it was debatable whether he was a man at all. Captain Olimar, in his full life-support suit, stood an entire inch tall. The crowd hadn't noticed him enter the arena, and so far, neither had Mario. Olimar had used the time to marshal his group of floral creatures known as Pikmin. Although a fiery accident in the earlier months had cost him all of his yellow and blue Pikmin, he had grown himself a horde of red ones and considered himself prepared.

As Mario finally caught on to the others' charades display and caught sight of his opponent, Captain Olimar ordered his forces into action. Some of the tiny red flower-like creatures crawled over Mario's boots to bite at him, while Olimar threw the rest toward the plumber's paunch. It wasn't an easy target to miss.

Mario started to giggle, then laughed out loud.

"What's the matter, pipesqueak? Laughing at death?!" roared Bowser from the crowd. "Haha, pipesqueak! I slay myself!" Most onlookers around the Koopa king wished he would.

"Hee-hee, This-a tickles!" Mario gasped between laughs. "Yahoo!" He spun around, arms outstretched. Pikmin flew everywhere, even into the crowd. A handful landed on Bowser, who gathered them into a bouquet and proceeded to try to light them ablaze with his fiery breath. Being red, the creatures resisted the flame, but the stench of Bowser's breath was too much for them to bear. Bowser offered the wilted and fetid flowers to Aeris in the seat behind him with a hideous grin. She reached out to take them with a grimace, but was spared having to deal with the bouquet by the quick tongue of Yoshi. Even he struggled to swallow them. Aeris patted Yoshi on the head with a smile and shot a reproachful glare at Bowser.

Meanwhile, back on the field, Captain Olimar whistled desperately to summon the Pikmin remaining on the field back to his defense. Mario was leaping about, bouncing from flower to tiny flower, doing what he did best: stomp things on the head. Olimar knew he had only one chance left--Bowser's gift. With a point and a whistle from their captain, the Pikmin began to dig into the dirt. Before long, they had uncovered first a wick, then a rounded black dome. As the dust of the digging cleared, Bowser's gift to Olimar was revealed: not just a bomb, but a bob-omb. Climbing on one another's back, the Pikmin cranked the walking bomb up to full power and sent it waddling toward Mario.

"Not from that far away, you flower-powered hors d'oeuvre! GET CLOSER!" Bowser roared at Olimar. Mario spun around to see the bomb-creature walking toward him at a sedate pace. With a quick leap over its head, he grabbed the bob-omb from behind and gave it a swift kick across the arena. It bounced through the doors to the locker room Mario had used before the fight. There was a muffled explosion.

"My tomato sauce!" gasped Luigi.

"C'mon, Mario, stop showboating and finish this guy off!" shouted Sonic. "I'm bored! That squirt's so short even a fat plumber could get enough air to--oh yeah, forgot," mocked the hedgehog.

Regardless of Sonic's taunting, Mario was running out of Pikmin to stomp. He followed the trail of flowery creatures back to the miniature astronaut who was still whistling to them. "Woo-hoo!" he shouted and leaped into the air. Olimar tried to run, but his tiny legs couldn't carry him very fast, and Mario came down right on his head.

Luigi leaped as his brother was announced as the winner, thus simultaneously avoiding both a punch in the back of the head from Bowser and a stomp on the foot from Wario. The crowd cheered and whistled for another favorite who had passed his first-round test in convincing fashion.

Mario kneeled down and dug the captain out of the ground. "Hello?" A worried Mario stuffed the unconscious Olimar into his pocket and headed for the medical ward.



Aftermath

"GAHRRR!!!!" growled Bowser, "That incompetent fool. He misused the bobomb and Mario wasn't even scratched. Now I suffer the humiliation for his incomptence."

"I agree-a Bowser, but with-a......my-a special suprise-a. Mario won't-a stand-a chance." Wario chimed in.

"We'll get him Wario, one way or another."

"Indeed-a we will, his-a luck-a has just-a ran out-a." With that Wario and Bowser both errupted into a roar of laughter.

"GWAHHOHOOHOHO!!!!" Bowser continued, "He wouldn't be anywhere if he wansn't a lucky cheat!!!!"

"You're wrong!" A voice said strongly from behind the two. They both whipped around to see Ryu walking behind them. "Mario may have had some questionable matches, but he's no cheat, you're the cheats."

"Who do you think you are!!!" said Bowser driving his finger into Ryu's chest. Ryu glared back into Bowser's eyes and then grabbed Bowser's finger and wrenched it side ways. "GWAAAAAAAAH!!!!" screamed Bowser.

"Your cheap tricks may have beaten that child but against real skill they won't stand a chance. That plumber can handle anything you two can throw at him." Ryu said, "It's your luck thats run out, Bowser." He then released Bowser who immediately began nursing his sore finger. He pushed past Wario and exited the arena.




Today's Authors: Aeon Azuran (Guest), StopPokingMe, Furious J
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