| GCB Fanfics: The Fanfiction Project |
July 7th, 2003Preshow By the next day, the medical ward had nearly finished up undoing the damage dealt by the sudden chicken infestation. They were in for a bit of a surprise however when Kirby came flying in, with feathers sticking out of him. The normally pink puffball was mostly white with feathers pointing in every direction. He clucked sporadically and started pecking at the ground. The healers tried restoring him to normal, but with no luck. Finally, Ness poked his head in and spoke up. "Open his mouth!" The healers did, and a star flew out. Kirby had apparently swallowed a chicken. A little upset by the interruption, they quickly kicked Kirby out. Duke Nukem was leaving the medical ward as well, with tiny white feathers all over his exposed arms. He had apparently told one of the nurses that his entire body was covered in feathers as a result of the fowl attack, and asked if she would be willing to help get them off. No such luck. Duke's reputation was already such that he was striking out more often than Ness. Hence, he had nothing to lose by hitting on a robot this time. KOS-MOS always seemed to be pacing, and collecting data. Apparently, robots didn't get bored. She was currently watching with detachment as Ness used Kirby as a ball. "Hey, dollface. What do you say you shift gears and see if I can get your motor running? I'd love to turn you on baby, push your buttons..." KOS-MOS stared at Duke. It was impossible to guess what she must have been thinking. Duke grinned at her. "If whatever you are suggesting involves getting covered in feathers, I will have to decline." "Yeah, well, you see, it was fowl play. Those chicks couldn't keep their hands off me. Can't imagine why, they must have gotten me confused with a big rooster. You know, a giant c..." Tommy Vercetti ran up and interrupted him. "Sweet cheeks! What are you doing with this bum?" Duke Nukem smugly grinned at Vercetti. "Now see, darling, you don't want to be seen with this kind of loser. He doesn't love you for yourself, he just wants your weaponry cause he has no chance of winning on his own. I want you for you, hon." KOS-MOS began walking away. Vercetti spoke up again. "Ha! Big talk for the guy who lost to a white haired pretty boy! He's all talk and no action, baby. She knows I can handle myself- and her as well." KOS-MOS spoke up again, but kept walking, leaving the two men behind. "Ordinarily I would destroy you both, but I must win a match now, and the likely expenditure of ammo to deal with both of you would deplete my reserves by 12%. If either of you are here when I return I compute a 93% probability that you will leave in pieces." Vercetti laughed nervously. "Uh, you know you're not allowed to prevent contestants from fighting in their upcoming matches, right?" "I detect that neither of you have any need for your tongues to fight, unless it is to overload the auditory systems of your foes. If that is the case, other arrangements can be made." Duke raised one eyebrow. "Apparently she likes it rough." Vercetti decided against telling Duke about his experiences with KOS-MOS and simply shook his head and walked to the arena. It would be nice to see the robot pulverizing someone else for a change. ---- Crash Bandicoot was literally bouncing off the walls. He span and dived around his room. Pretty soon, the whole crowd would get to see his finest moves in action. KOS-MOS was a robot. He had killed plenty of robots. Robots were predictable. Crash on the other hand, operated on pure animal instinct and ingenuity. Last year he beat a dancer but lost to a magician. Magicians were weird, but a robot-robots he knew how to deal with. He practiced spinning around the room and slamming the ground. He grinned. He could do this. Confidently, he made his way out to the arena, where the mechanical contraption would soon meet its fate. The Battle KOS-MOS emerged from her storage unit. Having finished uploading the data on the opponent, Crash Bandicoot. She entered the arena stadium, met by a loud cheer. The Bandicoot was already on the other side trying to pump up the crowd. "EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!!!!" yelled Crash, doing the Egyptian. Having seen KOS-MOS he moved towards the center of the field in order to start the match. "Oh yeah," said Crash, "Let's do it." "Before the match starts I wish to inform you that I have carefully analyzed your strengths and attack plans." said KOS-MOS. "You have only a 38.023% chance of surviving this match. If you wish to surrender, now is your last chance." "No way!" said Crash, the crowd submitted their approval with a roar of applause. "In that case lets begin." The announcer gave the signal and the bell rang out. Immediately KOS-MOS yelled out, "MODE A-7!" She was then shrouded in light for a few moments and said, "Performance up, 50%." Crash responded by attacking with a spinning attack, however his move was anticipated. Crash watched in horror as the arm of KOS-MOS slowly morphed into a drill and was thrusted in his direction. "WHOA!!!!" yelled Crash. He barely dodged it and took to the evasive. He heard KOS-MOS yell, "R-Cannon" from behind him and began to zig-zag back and forth dodging the sequential blasts. Wow, all that running from Cortex has really payed off. Crash thought to himself as a beam of light whizzed by his head. "Impressive," said KOS-MOS. "His agile movments have decreased my accuracy by 18%. More aggresive actions are required." KOS-MOS ceased fire. Crash, assuming she was out of ammunition, stopped to brag. "OH YEAH!!! Can't touch this, baby! Mario ain't got nothin' on this." Crash said doing the Robot in front of the players booth. While Bowser and Wario seemed to be quite entertained by Crash's antics, the Mario Brothers and even Yoshi seemed apauled. "Hey-a, get-a back to the-a fighting." Mario yelled. "Yeah, a who do you think-a you are-a." Luigi joined in. Yoshi, just sort of squeeled something, but you could tell it was an insult. Crash whipped around to give the Mario Brothers a better view of his backside, but while turned around he witnessed something, he rather wished he hadn't. While turned around he witnessed the abdominal region of KOS-MOS open. Then a blue pillar emerged from her back, then the words, "X-Buster" emerged from her mouth. Immediately hundreds of blue lasers shot out of her stomach all converging on Crash Bandicoot. "OH NO!!!" yelled Crash. His fate probably would've been decided there, but the beams tragectory had also been aimed at the player's booth. Grudgingly, Magus rose to his feet. He drew his breath and muttered a spell. Quickly a sphere of energy spun outward from his body enclosing the Player's Booth, as well as Crash. The laser impacted and exploded on the shield, leaving all the contestants, including Crash, unscathed. Magus sat back down and continued to watch. Crash rose to his feet, at the spot where he had been cowering earlier, and began to say, "OH YE-" Unfortunately in that time KOS-MOS had closed the distance and turned her right arm into a gigantic hammer and proceded to smash Crash in the noggin. A large bump rose from Crash's head, and he collapsed to the ground. "Winner KOS-MOS!!!" yelled the announcer. Aftermath The Arena KOS-MOS, the android with a weapon assortment that made Ratchet jealous, stood victorious over the bandicoot who made a last ditch effort to regain his name. To say the least, it was Crash's last stand and he failed. ---- KOS-MOS's Locker Room KOS-MOS went back to her locker room to rest for her next match when she seen a another man standing near her locker room. Not this human again, thought KOS-MOS. And, yes, it was Duke Nukem once again trying to get one of the ladies, namely KOS-MOS. "Well, well, well. We meet again. How about you see what kind of big guns I have?" This ungentleman-like behavior was starting to anger KOS-MOS. "Please. If you do not leave, I'll be force to use extreme measures to eliminate you." said KOS-MOS. Duke, who has been know to be a womanizer, continued until KOS-MOS snapped. She pulled out the dual Miniguns from her arsenal of weapons. "If you don't leave, there's a 99.99% chance you are not going to fight Ryu in this tourny because I'll kill you myself." With that, Duke left with fear in his eyes. This even shocked KOS-MOS herself. "Well, that shows that human." She now headed to the stands. She has already scouted both Samus and Issac, her next opponents in the tourny. But, to enjoy other creatures' actions and whatnot was something she wanted to see. ---- Crash's Locker Room Crash Bandicoot, once considered a hero to many, had the feeling that all people who are washed up feel. This was it. I had a chance to regain my name and all the people who loved me would love me once again, thought Crash. Maybe his time was up in the spotlight and his fame has fallen to a new low. But, for Crash, it was the fact that he couldn't beat an android, something he usually beaten (if made by Dr. Cortex, of course) and he gets embarssed by one. "It's time for me to retire from this business," said Crash. With that, he headed off to his hotel room. They might remember Crash Bandicoot, but not for today's match with KOS-MOS. He will be known for some time, but for now, Crash needed to get out of the spotlight and take a break from the hectic action of being a Platformer star. Next Entry Back |