| GCB Fanfics: Vs. Mode |
Vs. Mode - Kirby vs. Ramza"Welcome back to Vs. Mode, the show that brings the events that unfold in the Great GameFAQs Character Battle to your TV, live!" Brock says amongst the screams of the Midgar citizens. "We just came back from a literally explosive match-up between Alucard and Bomberman, one that ended with the little-bomber-that-could getting blown from hell and back with a well-timed Sword Brothers from the son of Dracula." Lucca chirps. "Bomberman is currently getting treated in the Stadium's clinic for his burn wounds. As for Alucard... who knows? He just up and disappeared after he won his fight before the battle officials could get to him." "But don't you worry about the angsty dunpeal," Lucca remarks, "if anyone can get up and running before the next round without the need of outside help, he can. All he'd need is a nice rest in a coffin in order for him to be as fit as a pale man with low blood pressure can be. In other news, Pac-Man has been moved here to be treated by one of Shinra's top doctors who claims to specialize in helping creatures with unique biological properties. Any idea who it is Brock?" There is a sound of papers being flipped through as Brock searched through his notes. "Wait a sec, I think I saw his name somewhere... ah, here it is! His name is Hojo!" An uneasy pause passes through the entire stadium as the name is uttered. Somewhere near one of the entrances to the arena, a spiky-haired swordsman, whose name is not Crono, slaps himself on the forehead. "Well, you have to admit, he does have experience with creatures of strange and peculiar origins." Lucca finally comments. "I'm just hoping he doesn't ignore the clause regarding the return of participants in their original form." Brock whimpers. He'd seen videos of Cloud fighting some of Hojo's specimens while researching on the characters, and they were not pretty. Lucca winces at that thought before she returns to her commentating. "Putting that little bit of info behind us, our next match is between two heroes of different kinds. First, hailing from the unnumbered squad of Double-F, let us welcome one of the many newcomers to this contest, the true hero of Ivalice, Ramza Beoulve." The first chimes of the melancholy opening of Final Fantasy Tactics drifts from the speakers as the tactician walks out of the west entrance with Cloud. He is met with a fair amount of applause from the crowd, but not as much as the other members of Double-F. Not that Ramza notices it as he fingers the device the tournament officials gave him. "You look a little distracted Ramza" Cloud says, a little concerned for his friend and once leader. "Huh? Oh, sorry. It's just that I've been thinking lately about this tournament..." Ramza responds softly. Cloud pats him on the shoulder. "Scared? Don't worry about it. Everyone gets the jitters whenever they first enter the ring. Just try to ignore it and have fun." Ramza smiles back at the other blond-haired warrior. "Yes. Have fun.'' "And there's Ramza, accompanied by the leader of the seventh squad of Double-F, Cloud." Lucca says enthusiastically, "For those who don't know why Cloud is with him, the former SOLDIER was accidentally pulled into the land of Ivalice while he was swimming around in the Lifestream. There, he joined Ramza in his quest to save the corrupt land after he was saved by the tactician's army from a brutal beating." Brock cuts in. "And coming in from the other entrance is one of our returning veterans. He's the fat, round and pink creature that is not Jigglypuff. The hero of Dreamland, Kirby!" Do you hear that high-pitched sound? That is the sound of the female half of the stadium squealing at the cuteness known as Kirby and his rival Meta-Knight. Kirby waved his flippers cheerily at the audience, increasing his cuteness to levels that threaten to give diabetes to lesser beings. Meta-Knight simply stood to his side, glaring at everything in general. "For those wondering why Meta-Knight is helping Kirby, the little swordsman was a tad bit miffed when he found out that the person who defeated him was eliminated in the first round. Not wanting his hated enemy to have a repeat showing this year, he took it upon himself to train the pink marshmallow." "And what a training it was." Lucca interrupts, "It was difficult, dangerous, and daunting for the little ball of cuteness, with Meta-Knight thinking up a variety of ways to make Kirby harder, better, stronger and faster. Ways that you couldn't imagine." "But you're in luck," Brock says as he brought out a black, rectangular object, "because you don't need to imagine it. An anonymous source gave us a tape with recorded footage of the training. If everyone would please look at the many TVs installed all around the stadium?" Down in the arena, Kirby blinks twice; did he hear those announcers right? The TVs turn on, showing screens of pure blackness. Suddenly, a rousing tune blares out of the speakers as words slowly fade in. ---- Kirby's Training Days Footage by: MC Editing by: MA Distribution by: MK The words fade out and a quiet scene of a large metal room replaces it. Meta-Knight and Kirby stand on opposite sides of the room, Meta-Knight glaring down on his pink counterpart with his cape flapping and Kirby pouting cutely. "So, you entered the contest thinking to make it far, lost to a girl carrying guns in the first round, and now you come to me for help. Ordinarily, I would be mocking you right now as I proceed to take over Dreamland while you wallow in despair." Kirby, upon hearing this, mopes some more. "However, there is the fact that you defeated me in combat and foiled my plans over and over again in the past. There's only one thing I hate more than losing and that's knowing that I lost to a pathetic loser. Since there's nothing I can do about your sickening performance before, I will just have to make sure that your next tournament will not be as humiliating." Kirby's eyes lights up when he hears this and runs to Meta-Knight to thank him, then he sees the masked swordsman press a button and he stops as his eyes widen in fear. Loud cries of pain are heard as a barrage of balls bombards Kirby. "Get up you idiot!" Meta-Knight shouts at the savior of Dreamland, "Get up! How can you expect to dodge bullets if you can't even dodge a few thousand balls! I said get up!" Kirby, currently visiting his own dreamland, makes no comment. ---- The Kirby not on the TV screen simply stares in shock as the tape continues to the next footage that showed Kirby's not so fun time with sharks. And then came the one with the bees. And the lava pits. Oh, and there's the incident with the cats and the ropes of fish. And the heated treadmill! And all the other traumatizing things Meta-Knight had him go through in his training. "And there you have it folks. Kirby's Training for the 2003 Summer Contest in unadulterated form. For those who want to watch it again in the comforts of their homes, Vs. Mode is more than happy to supply you with copies in VCD and DVD format for the low, low prics of 29.99. Order now and you can also receive the Kirby's Adventures Outtakes, also supplied to us by the same people who gave us Kirby's Training Days. Order now before supplies run out" Lucca advertises with as much enthusiasm as a certain raccoon. A few minutes later, Kirby watches with teary eyes as a throng of people returns, carrying copies of his documented pain and humiliation. Behind him, Meta-Knight smirks under his mask. Revenge can be so sweet. "And both fighters are now going to the center of the where Ref-Bot is waiting with both flags raised. So Lucca, who do you think will win?" Lucca cups her chin in her hand as she analyzes both fighters. "Hard to tell. While Kirby did lose in the first round last year, Ramza is completely new to this kind of fighting. Also, while Kirby has more experience in fighting solo, Ramza has a variety of tricks up his sleeve with the many jobs he has at his disposal." "Players, to your position. Player 1 ready?" Kirby nods his head enthusiastically, the earlier event already repressed somewhere beneath his pink unconscious. "Player 2 ready?" Ramza draws his sword and should and enters a defensive stance. "Ready" The Ref-Bot lowers both flags. "Combatants ready. Raise force barriers. Match 22, Kirby vs. Ramza Beoulve. 3, 2, 1... fight!" "Power's on; game's started and Ramza immediately slashes low at Kirby, hoping to connect with a Speed Break." Brock says for the sake of the visually challenged people. "Good planning on the part of the young Beoulve, slowing down the pink hero would have made his path to victory a lot easier, but it looks like he would need to do things the hard way as Kirby easily jumps over his blade, showing everyone that his training was not just for show. Kirby closes in for the kill but Ramza swats him away with his Genji Shield." "Ramza's not letting up, folks. He's chasing Kirby with intent to finish this quickly, but the pink puffball recovers and dodges an overhead slash from Ramza. He jumps on the tactician's head, bounces off of it and starts to float away. Ramza's now in a quandary, while the Knight class he's using is good for close range fights with its ability to disable opponents quickly and efficiently, it has absolutely no way of dealing with distant opponents. How can he find a way out of this problem?" Lucca smirks, "A lot easier than you think." "Huh?" In the center of the ring, Ramza dramatically raises one hand and screams in the air. "Job Change! Knight to Lancer!" Light surrounds him as the knight cape he wore billows dramatically from a magical wind. When the light dissipated, Ramza stood on the center of the ring, wearing the helmet and armor of a dragoon, and wielding the Dragon Whisker spear. "What the?" Brock exclaims, more than a little lost for words. Lucca grins madly as she proceeds to explain the rather unexpected lightshow. "That, my friend, is another example of my genius. The tournament officials asked me to cook something up for Ramza to make his fight more interesting since, while he has lots of fun jobs, he can only use two at a time at most. The device I made allows him to instantly change between classes in the middle of a fight with a simple command. While Ramza has always been more of a team-player than a solo runner, that thing should allow him to fight his own battles with less fuss." "And with his new ability, Ramza effortlessly jumps towards Kirby with his spear extended. It looks like Kirby's as surprised as we are folks, but he was able to dodge the Lancer, though barely. Ramza reaches the peak of his jump and takes another stab at Kirby, but the Dreamland resident was able to float away for a second time." "I don't know what Kirby's planning, but he can't win the fight by dodging all day, he will need to go on the offensive eventually." Lucca remarks. Brock continues to describe the action on the ring. "And Ramza takes another jump at the floating Kirby. Ooh, that was too close for comfort. Ramza descends once more on the floating, sphere-shaped hero and Kirby's... Kirby's not getting out of the spear's way. He let's go of all the puffed-up air in his body and he's freefalling with Ramza directly above him. He turns to face Ramza, pushes the spear away with his stubby little arms, inhales with all his might and err..." "Ladies and gentlemen," Lucca announces somberly, "let us all have a moment of silence for dear departed Ramza as he's now found a new path in life known to most of us as Kirby's digestive system. He was a brave man, a hero to those who knows him and one of the few people that still fights for the sake of justice. He will be remembered by us all, and let it be known that he died, not with a bang or a whimper, but with a loud whoosh..." "Kirby just spitted Ramza out after he landed." Brock remarks offhandedly. "...or not." "The fight is still on. Ramza groggily gets up and comes face to face with another Lancer. For those who don't know, Kirby copies the abilities of the people he inhales and their form as well, at least as well as a one-foot creature composed of only a head, arms and legs can." "But you must admit, Kirby looks absolutely adorable in his helmet and spear ensemble. But more importantly, now that Kirby has some weapons and abilities to fight with, the battle can truly begin." "And both Ramza and Kirby jumps high into the air" Brock exclaims "Their spears cross multiple times as they fight it out in mid-air, showing excellent spearsmanship from both sides. Ramza's thrust is pushed aside and Kirby counters with a spear swing that Ramza blocks." "Neither side is showing any signs of letting up, as both attack with enough control to not leave themselves completely defenseless. It's a complete stalemate." "Looks like they agree with you on that Lucca as they have just separated from each other, landing on opposite sides of the ring. And it appears Ramza's about to do another Class Change as he raises his hand." "Job Change!" Ramza shouts, "Lancer to Ninja!" "Why yes, I do believe he is and- what the heck is Kirby doing?" Lucca asks to no one in particular as she watches the pink puffball raise a flipper. "Jabu Chengie! Rancer to Neenja!" Twin pillars of light surround both fighters as their equipments and abilities change. When the light faded away, Ramza's armor was replaced with black clothes while Kirby's helmet was replaced with a black mask. Both were wielding a pair of Ninja Edge blades. Brock continues the commentary, "And Kirby shows everyone that the Lancer abilities were not the only things he copied from Ramza. Both charge at each other with inhuman speed and Kirby starts the offense by throwing three shurikens at the blond hero." "Ramza deflects all three ninja stars with his swords, and he throws a lightning ball at Kirby in retaliation, followed by a powerful slice with his blade." "Kirby sidesteps the lightning ball, letting it harmlessly spread its element into the ground. He blocks Ramza's attack and wow!" "Wow indeed Brock. Both fighters seem to have disappeared in a whirlwind of slashes and stabs as they both increased the fury of their attacks. The only clue I have that they're still there are the white flashes made by their swords reflecting the light." "And both fighters split away from each other again as they decide that that little exchange ended in a draw. Both are raising their arms, signifying another class change." "Job Change! Ninja to Monk!" "Jabu Chengie! Neenja to Mank!" Once again, both fighters are bathed with light as their clothes and skills change. When the light disappears, Ramza was wearing a pair of cloth pants and an open vest that showed off his fairly impressive chest, much to the delight of fangirls everywhere, while Kirby only wore a vest over his stubby arms. "And both went for the form known for using the deadly punch arts. We can expect some high-speed martial arts action here folks once these two get within punching range. And there they go, rushing each other with one fist cocked back. They let it fly with all their strength and..." Lucca stops suddenly as a loud smack is heard across the stadium. "...and Kirby finds out what the main problem is when you're bringing short arms and legs in a hand-to-hand fight." Brock finishes for Lucca. "Kirby slowly falls to the ground as Ramza's fist connects with his face." A battle aura surrounds Ramza as he screams his next words. "Fight for justice... fists of fury! Repeated Fist!" "Ramza is not just letting go of this opportunity." Lucca interrupts, "the Beoulve's fists smash into Kirby over and over again with great speed and intensity." Ramza stops his assault and pulls his fist back, letting power coalesce around it. "Earth's anger running through my arms! Earth Slash!" "And Kirby flies into the air as Ramza sends a shockwave across the ground with a single punch. This might be it for Kirby folks, all Ramza needs is one more hit and this match is over." "Job Change! Monk to Archer!" The Monk's equipment disappear from sight, replaced by the clothes of an Archer and his bow. "And here comes that last blow" Brock states as Ramza nocks an arrow on his bow and a battle aura surrounds him. "Once Ramza fully charges up his attack, that arrow will be fired with enough force to penetrate a Cloyster's shell." "I don't know how long Ramza's planning to hold that arrow, but he better quicken things up. It looks like Kirby's starting to regain his wits." Lucca remarks as she watches Kirby begin to stir. "And Ramza finally launches his arrow, it flies straight and true to its target, but Kirby was able to roll away in mid-air. The arrow shatters against the force field behind him, surprising a few people on that side." "Job Change! Archer to Black Mage!" "The tactician's probably cursing his luck right now, but that's not slowing him down any. Already, he's preparing a spell to end this battle. Kirby will need to think up of a good plan to stop Ramza or he's done for." Lucca says as she watches Ramza chant under his breath. As Kirby floated down, light surrounds him as he screams his next words. "Jabu Chengie! Mank to Rancer!" "Eh? Kirby's flying to the barrier, just what is he planning?" Brock wonders as Kirby brushed against the force field. "Amazing!" Lucca says in disbelief, "Kirby has just jumped off the force field, launching himself towards Ramza at an incredible speed." "Jabu Chengie! Rancer to Naito!" Light covers Kirby in mid-air as the Lancer helmet he wore was replaced with that of a Knight's. "Kirby just changed classes in the middle of his attack and he's positioning his Genji Shield in front of him. Ramza snaps out of his chanting trance and he notices the Kirby missile too late. He won't be able to evade in time!" A dull clang echoes in the stadium as Kirby rams right into Ramza's stomach. Lucca winces in sympathy as the Black Mage slides across the floor. "Ramza will be feeling that in the morning but Ramza will need to ignore the pain for now because here comes Kirby waving his Knight Sword." "The Black Mage doesn't move as Kirby slashes at him, but as luck would have it, the small Knight misses his target at this close a range, giving the tactician a small nick instead of a deep wound. Ramza takes this opportunity to kick away Kirby and he painfully stands back up." Ramza clutches his stomach in pain and tries to resist his need to vomit. Slowly, he raises his hand and shouts the words needed for him to transform. "Job Change! Black Mage to Ninja" But the lights didn't come and neither did the change. "Ramza's as surprised as you and me folks. He expected to change into another class but something seem's to have gone wrong. Ramza's putting his hand on the area he was nicked and he stares at some thing that he just pulled out. Any idea what it is Lucca?" Lucca puts on a pair of special goggles and zooms in on what Ramza was holding. "What Ramza is holding is the broken remains of the device I gave him. No wonder Kirby missed Ramza earlier! He wasn't aiming at the boy; he was aiming at my device. Clever little devil." "Jabu Chengie! Naito to Ninja!" "And that can only mean trouble for Ramza. The Black Mage class is not exactly known for its physical defense and Kirby's going to take full advantage of this." Brock comments as he watches Kirby dash towards Ramza at full speed before jumping into the air. "Jabu Chengie! Ninja to Mank!" Kirby pulls his fists back as he goes through another job change. "Faito for jastice... fists of foory! Repeated Fist!" "Holy crap!" Lucca cries out as Ramza flies straight into the barrier and slumps to the floor outside the ring. "Ramza was just literally lifted off his feet with Kirby's attack. Using the ninja's speed to give him some added momentum and pouring it all out into a repeated fist, I'm going to be very surprised if the tactician gets up after this." The Ref-Bot's count to ten wasn't really needed after that. "Winner: Kirby" ---- One Phoenix Down later, courtesy of Cloud, and Ramza is back on his feet. He takes one look at the celebrating Kirby and at the cheering crowd before looking at his friend apologetically. "I'm sorry I lost on the first round." The SOLDIER smiles at Ramza "Nah, it's okay. You did your best and you put a spectacular fight out there. Good job. Now get to the medical ward and let the doctors there treat your wounds." Ramza smiles back, "Thanks" The tactician clutches his stomach as he exits the arena on his own, wincing when he feels the pain surge through his entire body. That creature packed quite a punch for something so small he thinks as he begins to navigate his way to the clinic. "I was watching your fight out there young Beoulve, you had a chance to win out there but you let it slip away from your grasps." Ramza turns around in surprise and sees a certain half-vampire leaning beside the entrance to the arena. "What do you want Alucard?" Alucard smirks as he uncrosses his arms and slowly walks towards the boy. "I only want you to answer a question of mine, young Beoulve. When you were about to pierce the pink monster with your arrow, you hesitated for a while, giving him ample time to recover. Most people see it as a simple miscalculation on your part but," the dunpeal pats Ramza twice on the shoulder, eliciting a slight wince from the young leader. "I'm not exactly what you can call 'most people,' yes? So tell me. Why?" Ramza looks away from the vampire hunter as he begins his explanation. "Cloud invited me here to escape the war temporarily, but instead, I found myself fighting another kind of war. Though this was is in a much smaller scale and people don't necessarily have to get killed, this was a battle I was fighting for no one's sake but my own." He brushes Alucard's hand away before continuing his walk to the clinic. "When I was about to fire the arrow, I asked my self what I was going to do if I were to win, and I found that I can't answer that simple question. Staying here wouldn't serve any purpose, much less help me in my mission to save Ivalice. I don't need fame or money; I just can't leave people in need." Alucard watches the young tactician round the corner and disappear from sight. "Such a shame, noble Beoulve. Heroes such as you are rare in any era, and I would have enjoyed fighting one such as you," says the half-breed before disappearing in a cloud of mist. ---- "And Kirby just won a tough match against newcomer Ramza," the purple-haired scientist shouts to the cheering crowd, "proving to everyone that he's not the same one round wonder as before." "Next up is a gun fight in its purest form as Gordon and Max duke it out. Vs. Mode will be back after these messages." Next Entry Back |