| The Fanfiction Project Returns! |
July 3rd, 2003Inside the contestent’s area of the spacious mansion, a quarrel was breaking out as they are wont to do. Mario was also eating pasta as he is wont to do, but he is not the focus of our attention here. In this particular instance one of the new contestents had made the grave mistake of bumping into Conker, who’d curse you out if you looked at him funny, much less gave him an accidental shove. “Who the **** are you to run into me like that, you lanky ass *****?” The perpetrator was unphased by the rudeness of the comment. He prepared to introduce himself, well aware of the impact his glorious name would have. “I’m Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty pirate!” He flashed his pearly whites to the unimpressed squirrel. “And what foulmouthed rodent might I have the pleasure of addressing?” Turning red with anger, Conker immediately whipped out a switchblade half the length of his body. “I’ll stick this so far up your ass for calling me a ‘rodent’!” Guybrush smiled confidently, poised to strike down his aggressor with his most deadly weapon in his arsenal... “Just a knife? Your breath would be far more potent!” “Oh yeah? Well you are so damn ugly I want to hurl.” “You’re one to talk, you fetid squirrel!” By this time a small crowd had gathered around the two, applauding at each instance of Threepwood’s unbearably witty repartee. “I’m a dangerous ****in criminal, so stop your goddamn rhymes!” “Your smell’s the worst of all your crimes!” “SCREW this and SCREW you ya ****in weirdo, I’m gonna go get drunk.” Conker quickly stormed away, so furious that he nearly missed the distant retort, “If you’re lucky you’ll get laid by a skunk!” Back |